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www.tolkien.rs • Pogledaj temu - Lutiena Tinuviela

Lutiena Tinuviela

Postoje samo dva tvorca: Bog i pesnik

Moderatori: Beren, NothingMan, Jake Chambers

 Lutiena Tinuviela

Postod Lardos u Uto Mar 15, 2011 9:49 pm

Vidim da je ovaj podforum umro,al ipak..mozda neko procita ovo :)
inace,inspirisan njenom lepotom sam napravio ovu asocijaciju:

Lutiena Tinuviela:

Magla vecnog rastanka me rastavlja na pola
dok rastinje stare ljubavi upija deo bola
sad ubija vera gola,a sta li smera ljubav moja?
da li moram da prodam dusu da ode nocna mora?
pa korak prvi svoj spustim na neravno tlo te stene
gorak je ukus u ustima iako osmeh se penje
na planinu tvojih misli koje vetar verno veje
tad osetim vazduh cisti i sav bol sto suzom greje
sve njene orhideje,ruze,i vrtove cvetne
sanjam da se smejes,cekajuci da me sretne
tvoj poljubac otrovni cije kletve lepe lete
samo u mom smeru,i ostave plodove sve svete
da ostane trag nece-nestaje sa delom srece
u bolu istine te srecem,rana boli sve zesce
sve sto je bilo bese,odavno ja bezim
da resim svoj problem ne smem,jer samo ka tebi tezim
utesi me prilaskom prolaskom kroz moj zivot
jer da nije tebe bilo nikad ne bih ovo snimo

Padam u crnilo tvoje lazi ko zrtva
koja rita se u paukovoj mrezi polumrtva
iako prija mi ta kletva znam oseticu sutra
posledicu tvog uboda pa cu umoran da lutam
tim bezvremenim hodnicima trazeci za koracima
nekim novim prorocima boreci se s porocima
usput se pred ocima javis nekad u nocima
kroz opasnosti se probijam dolazi nova fobija
ali me bar dobija tvoja stalna opasnost
dok reci tuge odvijam sve postane mi jasno
pitam se dal je kasno da te ponovo ja nadjem
jer znam da od tebe nikad nece biti sladje
pustim ladje da mi tonu,jer od nade nema vajde
pa se okrenem svom bolu,ajde idi sad jer
ne mogu vise da te slusam,dusa puca
pravis rusvaj stalno mi se cini
da ti je u ustima ta laz gusta
al opet tu sam,ti jedina, ja jedan
ti medena,i ledena,a ja samo bezvredan
o moja ruzo Sveta iza sve lepote vela
O moja Lutiena Tinuviela
..Volim te
Smile Now
Cry Later
Korisnikov avatar
Član
Član
 
Postovi: 4
Pridružio se: Sre Feb 23, 2011 10:27 pm
Lokacija: Valinor

 Re: Lutiena Tinuviela

Postod Iris u Pon Apr 11, 2011 9:58 pm

Leeepa pesma!!
"U odredjenom trenutku svoga postojanja gubimo kontrolu nad sopstvenim zivotom i prepustamo se sudbini. Eto, to je najveca laz na svetu."

Be yourself. That's one thing no one can better than you.


Ponekad njace
Okupa se u prasini
Ponekad
Onda ga primetis

Inace
Vidis mu samo usi
Na glavi planete
A njega nema

::L::
Korisnikov avatar
Član
Član
 
Postovi: 269
Pridružio se: Sub Jan 29, 2011 9:41 pm
Lokacija: Gornji Milanovac

 Re: Lutiena Tinuviela

Postod Shieldmaiden u Pon Apr 11, 2011 10:29 pm

Imaš finih, neočekivanih rima, imaš i gomilu banalno sklopljenih (pola-bola-gola, neće-sreće). Na mahove zvuči kao repovanje. Mešaš nekoliko vrsta stiha i rime.

"da li moram da prodam dusu da ode nocna mora?"
možda bi lepši ritam bio da stoji "moram li da prodam dušu da ode noćna mora?" - ali i ovako mi je mnogo "da" u jednom stihu
Korisnikov avatar
Zla Teta®
Zla Teta®
 
Postovi: 6391
Pridružio se: Sre Jan 23, 2002 8:54 pm


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